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Effects of Divorce on Children
When a couple
decides their marriage is over, a tremendous sense of grief and relief
are felt. A recently divorced person will feel grief over the loss of
their marriage and the loss of their partner in life. But there is
also a sense of relief that the pain and anguish is now over and their
healing can begin. For couples without children divorce is a far
simpler process. They are not continually seeing each other to bring
up all those bad feelings over and over again. When children are
involved parents must learn their new roles and coexist quickly to
minimize the negative effects of divorce on children.
The effects of
divorce on children can be very traumatic.
Some children blame themselves for
the divorce, believing that they caused their parent's divorce due to
their bad behavior or not listening. Some children just shut down after the divorce and find it
very difficult to express their feelings. Often they look as sad
as they feel, withdrawing from friends and activities they once
The effects of
divorce on children can harm their future.
The effects of divorce on children
can be detrimental to their future relationships. Children
sometimes feel betrayed by their parents, resulting in a mistrust of
others. This inability to trust others hinders their ability to
form intimate relationships.
Parents can minimize
the effects of divorce on children
The good news is that the effects of
divorce on children can be minimized by their parents. Parents
can reassure their kids that the divorce is not their fault. It
is also important for parents to make their child feel safe by reassuring
their child that they are loved by both parents. It is also
important to let your child know that parents do not divorce their
children. Tell your child that you are available to answer
any questions they might have about the divorce. The effects of
divorce on children will be less severe if the couple is able to put
aside their differences as much as possible and work together to provide
a loving, safe and consistent environment in both parents homes.
Any of these articles by
Lisa Dunning, Family Therapist may be re-published in hardcopy
(magazines, newsletters or newspapers) or electronic format in websites,
ezines or electronic newsletters provided the following resource box is included at the end of the article with a
link to the URL
|Lisa Dunning is a
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Specializing in
Parent/Child Relationship issues, the author of "Good
Parents Bad Parenting: How To Parent Together When Your
Parenting Styles Are Worlds Apart" and the host of her own
radio show, "Life Support". She provides marriage, divorce and parenting
sessions to clientele across the United States and Canada and provides expert
parenting advice to newspaper & magazine columnists. To learn
more about Lisa Dunning visit her website at http://www.LisaDunningMFT.com.